Pre-marriage Counseling

The marriage ceremony is more important within Indian culture than most other cultures in the world. There are lots of ways to express this, but perhaps The bride's family pays for the wedding, and it is common for them to spend at least two years' total family income funding the party and gifts. Of course everyone else provides generously according to custom as well.

One of the functions of Sanjeevani Booti is to capture couples before their weddings and provide them with health information about sex, birth control, protection from sexually transmitted diseases, and the existence and meaning of such diseases as AIDS. Honestly most people would not request this kind of information when they have to make so many other plans, but before marriage people are open to suggestion.

Imagine this situation: there are a boy and girl about to get married. It is more common that they are young and virgin than older and not. Also consider that the marriage is very likely arranged by the parents of both parties, and that bride and groom do not know each other well if at all. Both have grown up in a culture where marriage is fantastically important and divorce is so rare that it is stigmatized. Remember that males and females are segregated in society, and that neither bride nor groom has ever dated or socialized with a member of the opposite gender.

In this situation, Sanjeevani Booti is able to intervene. We approach the parents in an authoritative way and explain to them that there are certain health topics with which all married couples should have some familiarity. We tell the parents what they want to know about our work - and typically they express shyness but understanding - and we get their consent to teach the couple to be married.

Where this approach really shines is in mass-marriages. Because marriage ceremony can be prohibitively expensive, a societal work-around is to combine costs into one ceremony for multiple couples who are united simultaneously. In those cases we are able to meet with couples in a group, give lots of information out at the same time, and say things in a way that puts less pressure on anyone if it were done personally with one teacher for either one couple or either just bride or just groom. Also giving the class promotes confidence to ask questions to doctors and health care providers later in life. Many people simply do not do this often enough.

An organization called Lok Samiti founded by Nandlal Master in the village of Mehdiganj outside Benares sponsors a yearly mass-marriage ceremony. Sanjeevani Booti members always attend this event to teach the couples to be married and assure them that they can call or write any time to get any questions answered about AIDS or good marital health advice. Women are able to write confidential questions to our female social workers or talk to them privately on the phone, if they wish.

To give some idea of the scale of these events, look at this budget below. By May 2008 prices, the total cost of the event couple is about $285 American or 185 Euro.

Date- Saturday May 10, 2008
Time- 11 A.M
Venue- R.M. Lohiya P.G College Bhairav Talab Rajatab, Varanasi
Total Participants- 30 couples
Budget

  1. Gift Items
    • Bicycle 30 Rs. = 66,000
    • Watch 30pec Rs. = 15,000
    • Sewing machine 30pec. Rs. = 66,000
    • Cloth (paint,shirt silk,etc.)30 se Rs. = 45,000
  2. Food ( 4000 people) Rs.= 100,000
  3. Tent, baja, mike, music ets Rs .= 30,000
  4. Travel Rs. = 10,000
  5. Others Rs. = 20,000
    Total Budget Rs.= 352,000

    Here is a picture of the Lok Samati wedding from 2007:

    For us to be able to politely intercede in weddings it is appropriate that we provide a gift of some sort. We generally purchase a clock and have our name, address, phone number, and logo printed on the faceplate. The total cost of each clock is Rs 175, or about $4.25 US or 2.75 Euro. We also try to get contact information for the couples so that we can visit, write, or call them after a few months have passed.

    If you would like to become involved in sponsoring AIDS education as a part of Indian marriage then please contact us for details. In return we can give you information about all the couples you are helping and create a record of exactly what we do with your sponsorship money. Contact us for more details.

Sanjeevani Booti